Tipz from the Babysitter Seriez

Advice for First Time Sitters…

(While written to the babysitter, this column provides valuable advice to any parent who may be expecting or hiring a new babysitter)

Over the last ten years I’ve learned quite a bit about children and the wonderful stages they go through during their development. If you don’t have children of your own, like me, and you are going to be entrusted with someone else’s child/children for the first time, there are a few basic things I like to know first.

The 411

First, (this is probably a given in any situation) you want to make sure you have a list that entails all of your vital phone numbers and a “can’t have” or “not allowed” list.

• Parent's Contact Info. Ask the parents to write down their cell phone numbers, emergency numbers, as well as secondary numbers of close friends or family for you, just incase their cell phones are on the fritz and you need to contact someone. You never know when you might need to call them and they will appreciate knowing that if you can’t get a hold of them, you will at least be able to get a hold of someone who can help that they know and trust.

• The Vital Details. You also want to know if there are any foods or particular creams that the child is allergic to. If you are caring for a baby, have them write down the baby’s feeding times, how many ounces they usually drink, and if you need to be extra aware of particular things (ie. Do they have to add gas medicine to the baby’s formula/milk during feeding because they know their child has a harder time processing the food?) You never know! It’s the little details that can make the difference between a fussy child and a complacent one. For older children, they may get allergy medicine or vitamins after dinner. Parents don’t always think to tell you about things like that so it’s important to ask. Having them write it on paper is always more helpful, too, especially if you are like me and you want to make sure you remember everything correctly.

• What's Allowed/What are We Working On. Also, make sure to ask the parents if they are having any “problem areas” you need to be aware of so you don’t do something to counteract what bad habits they’ve been working to break. One of the most obvious examples here would be the infamous pacifier. Another would be switching from bottles to Sippy cups or regular drinking glasses. It is important to know if the parents are working to eliminate things like this. With older children, “not allowed” lists are great because it puts you both on the same page, so to speak. It lets the child know that you know what is and isn’t considered acceptable by his parents.

• Discipline Preferences. What is okay and what is not? There are so many different ways you can handle a situation and every parent knows best. You need to find out how they prefer you to handle their children if they act out. You can offer suggestions and see if they are okay with your ideas, but always respect and follow the parent’s preferences even if you don’t agree with them. Now, what if they tell you to do something you are not comfortable with? Simple, just tell them from the get-go! Communication is key and by telling them you are not comfortable with something, you can open up the door for them to give you alternate suggestions that you both are okay with.

Once you get all the basic vital information, I would suggest trying to get in touch with the child or children you are going to be spending your time with. You want them to feel comfortable with you being there when their parents are not. If they are not comfortable with you, then the parents are not going to feel completely comfortable leaving you with them either.

• Get to Know the Kids. Try to get a sense for what their personality is like. Are they shy, outgoing, temperamental, or what? Once you know that, it’s more about taking the time and interest to help them get to know you and feel comfortable with you while their parents are still present. This creates, what I call, a “safe zone” for the child. It allows them to interact with you, but they don’t feel insecure because their parents are still there with you, too.

• Create a Good Rapport. It’s just as important to create a good rapport with kids as it is the parents. You will have a harder time getting a child to listen to you when you need them to clean up their toys, wash their hands, etc. if they don’t feel like they know or trust you. I think, in an attempt to engage with kids, some sitters make the mistake of acting like a kid themselves. The problem with that is, when you need them do something that they don’t really want to do (such as brushing their teeth) they are more apt to tune you out or talk back to you if you’ve made it clear through your actions that you want to be treated as “just one of the kids.” You, as the sitter, set that standard from day one. It’s good to play and engage, but don’t overdo it just because you want them to like you. That happens naturally simply by taking care of them and letting them know that you are there for them while their parents are not. They need to know that you can have fun with them, but they also need to know it’s important for them to listen to you, too.

Aside from that, I might suggest finding out about the child/children’s night time routine. I have found that routine is very important for children and when something comes along and disrupts that pattern, you will find you have a harder time with the process altogether. It helps to know what preferences the child has.

• Bedtime Routine. What the parents allow and don’t at bedtime. Some parents are stricter and others more lax, it just depends. It’s good to know if they are allowed water in their room in case they get thirsty or if they talk to themselves to help fall asleep at night. Every kid and parent is different. Some parents will tell you if you hear chatter in the room, then their child is trying to stay awake and it should not be allowed. Other parents will tell you it’s necessary for their child to go over their day verbally before falling asleep; otherwise, they can’t fall asleep. For babies, they might prefer you to rock them to sleep before putting them down in the crib. Other parents will tell you they don’t want their baby to get used to being held all of the time and they prefer you to put them down in the crib awake, singing them to sleep instead. It is knowing the small things that will help you make the evening safe, fun, and more comfortable for everyone.

I know this seems like a lot of information to ask about when it’s your first time babysitting, but it’s worth it! The parents will appreciate your thoroughness, not to mention feel more comfortable leaving you with their baby, child, or children. You will also feel more confident by knowing more about the child’s habits beforehand. Plus, knowing more about what changes or difficulties any kid is currently going through will help you better understand their mood and actions during your time with them.

Tipz from the Babysitter is written by Samantha Potts, KidzAustin.com's lifelong babysitter for both the KidzAustin kidz. Questions? E-mail Samantha at sam@kidzaustin.com.

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